Hello Friends,
Yes! I have written a book and, yes, I call myself a writer – however today as I sit to write my first blog for Gifts from Guidance readers (or future readers!), I seem to have forgotten how to write. So far today I have cleaned my office, organized my desk, gone through two notebooks of To-Do items and random ideas for the future and categorized them into a third notebook. I have listened to music, baked a chicken and updated the mailing lists in my MailChimp account. I have read 5 other blogs and researched two blogs that have invited me to submit writing as a guest blogger. Now I am ready for a walk outside, some dinner and an evening of relaxation because I have worked a full day! So……. I guess now it is time to start writing!
Yes! I am a person who works best when things are organized and when there is either a real or perceived deadline. I become hyper-intelligent and focused when there is pressure or it is almost time for completion. That is when I am most creative. There is certainly a name or a diagnosis for this, but since it is my style and personality I don’t tend to be interested in what I may be labeled. “Writer” is complicated enough.
When I began working on the manuscript for Gifts from Guidance I had this same dual pressure of clarity and creativity. I had prayers and affirmations in journals, letters, little slips of paper, 3X5 cards and small boxes in every corner of my life. The first months of working were spent gathering everything to one location and beginning the arduous process of categorizing, editing, transcribing, truth-telling and capturing a “somewhat objective” story of my recent life of endings. Spring of 2012 I had an avalanche of closure; a 14 year relationship with my drug-addicted soul mate ended for the final time (emphasis on the word final!), I left a twenty year career as a public servant, my daughter and her daughter moved into their own home after living with me for 18-months. It was a lot to process and the motivation to write came from this series of stacking endings that left me standing still at the center of my life with no clear plan.
So I started each day with dedicated time for personal journal writing – Morning Pages as prescribed by Julia Cameron in the Artist’s Way http://juliacameronlive.com/ and then time for automatic writing. This writing became my instruction for the day. The intuitive writing method I use is called automatic writing. I close my eyes, allow my mind to rest in a relaxed and somewhat meditative state and allow my hand to write whatever comes. I must resist the desire tocreate context and just write the words. I hear words and sometimes see images like a billboard across my forehead. In this moment I have only one task, to write until the sounds and images are complete.
When I began using this writing technique I wrote simple affirmations, usually 3 lines, and then much longer pieces that I decided to call prayers. In order to prepare a compilation of all the prayers I had written, I had to perform the required cleaning and organizing necessary to find them. The simplicity of this work was healing for me and created space around the grief I was feeling and the clarity I was seeking. I created altars for love and remembrances, I burned sage and chanted and drummed my home,and my deepest self, cleansed and purified, I cleaned closets and drawers and found writing everywhere I looked.
As I commenced with the hunting and gathering process I became certain that the quantity of prayers was a volume of work large enough to be published. My clients and friends who had received them, reported a beautiful peacefulness and connection to the divine when reading their personalized spiritual messages. The biggest motivation for me to create an anthology was that the prayers were comforting and inspirational for me at a time when I could not find much relief from the grief, confusion, and fear I was cycling through each day.
Motivation to keep going was fueled by seeing that prayer and affirmation work. I watched how supporting myself with words of prayer could lighten the emotional intensity of life events and catapult me forward to new ways of being. I also saw this occur in my clients who were using these affirmations. We were all listening to our thoughts – inserting words of comfort, encouragement and possibility and then allowing life to flow easily. We were healing our own suffering; reducing fear and worry and stopping anxiety. By offering thoughts of possibility and hope, sometimes better than anything we could imagine, a new calm arrived for our psyches and eased our life’s journey.
I felt inspired and hopeful. A swelling feeling of desire had been created for me to share this work with others in the hope that they too would feel relief from suffering. Writing Gifts from Guidance certainly changed me and changed the course of my own life. I really do believe that when we are at our lowest points in life, affirmations, positive thought and prayer can bring some measure of lightness to the darkness. I am grateful for the gift I received to be able to hear these beautiful messages through writing. It brings me immeasurable joy to share them and hear from readers that they feel warmth, love, ease and peace as a result of using them.
In Service of Love Always ……. Kay